Finding Love Online can be a challenge to the dating life of just about any girl. Compound that with the fact that most ladies do not really understand the rules around communicating through online channels , placing profiles, emailing guys and simply understanding connections made through non-traditional means, and you can have yourself quite an experience and not always in a good way.
Have you tried online dating yet, or tried to find true love online and failed? Its hard to believe, isnt it? I mean, you think that with over six million people active in online dating that you would have a MUCH greater success rate than going out and trying to meet guys at venues.
Well, the difficulty is, if you are not aware of the pitfalls of trying to find true love online, then you just might fail. Lets begin with talking about the fundamentals communication and initial attraction in Finding Love Online.
First of all, one of the biggest pitfalls in online dating is the instant connection. It can be a trap in two ways first of all in FEELING the instant connection, and second of all, in NOT feeling the instant connection. I know that is a bit confusing, right?
Lets think of it this way. First of all, lets talk about feeling that instant connection. Its what we all want, as ladies, right? To feel that immediate burst of attraction and connection to one another on a deeper level, feelings that might just lead you to find love online… its what we think that we are looking for and wanting in a guy. And it really can be. But look at your past do you typically date the wrong Lancel Adjani Vente kind of guy? Are you always attracted to those bad boys, and then later on down the line, they end up treating you like trash and leaving you hurt and once again, single?
Most ladies ARE attracted to bad boys. Not because we want to make bad decisions , but because what we want is a real guy a guy who Sac à main pas cher makes us feel protected, safe, taken care of and, well, like a girl! Genetically, our bodies want us to find the best mate the alpha leader if you will, that will lead us to having the best, strongest, smartest offspring, etc. This is hard-wired into attraction. You cannot help it. But you have to learn to distinguish between finding the bad boy who APPEARS to be an alpha leader with his self-assurance and animal attraction, and the TRUE alpha male who treats ladies WELL and has the confidence to appreciate your own unique abilities without letting them threaten his status as a guy. Make sense?
Ok. So here is where the double edged sword of feeling that instant attraction comes in. When you are communicating with someone online, without the nuance of body language, presence, facial expression, etc, AND with the element of time freeze that I mentioned in my previous article (where using a non face to face format like online communication, you can stop and think about your answers and take time to craft a reply) a guy can seem to be so much more or less than he really is.
Especially if you are sharing really significant things! You can get into this very deep conversation, feeling really connected to a guy and forget that this may not be what he is really like, or how he really thinks, because he could be totally playing with you, feeding off your emotions and just really getting in to the moment. It is many times easier to have a really deep conversation with a stranger through an online medium because that person does not even seem quite real when they are just a chat box on a screen.
On the other side of this coin you could be communicating with a guy online and thinking that this guy is kind of blah when really he is a awesome guy who just sucks at communicating in a non-verbal fashion. Its a catch 22.
So what do you do to really learn how to find love online? The key is this use the internet, use online dating, as a TOOL to meet men . Then, take your meeting offline, to a local cafe for lunch or a quick coffee break, or meet at the local park to see an art exhibit. Meet him somewhere public and do an activity that will not be leading you to the inevitable should I invite him in? question. And remember this as well even if you had an AMAZING connection online, you WILL feel awkward with him, and he with you, when you first meet. It does not matter how great your connection was, you are still going to be nervous and probably struggle with things to talk about for a little bit while you get used to each other.
Its a good idea to have a little list in your head of things you want to talk about. This should NOT include ex-boyfriends, things you dislike , things that annoy you, problems in your life or other negative things. Talk about things that inspire passion in you things you love and things that will give him a great positive view into your personality and what drives you.
If you want to know more about how to find love online, be sure to stay tuned to my blog, or sign up for my newsletter by following any one of these links!